Bringing up sexual fantasies can be somewhat daunting; nerve wracking or it may be something that you simply would never consider. The good news is that there IS a time and place to bring up these fantasies of yours. Sometimes it’s all about timing and sometimes it’s more based on the situation. Take a step in the right direction to make all your bedroom desires come true with the following tips.


Allow yourself to be vulnerable

Opening up to your partner means you are making yourself a little vulnerable but sometimes you have to be the man and be the first one to put it out there and talk to your partner about your inner most desires. You partner will probably thank you for it for being the confident one. Making this move will strengthen your relationship and allow you to explore new depths together.


The talk

You are probably wondering how you can initiate such a conversation but as a man it’s your job to take the reigns. Maybe you can set the scene for the talk first? Have you been for a romantic meal or had a few drinks over a candle lit dinner? Setting the scene is important so your partner is relaxed and open to discussion.

Make sure you then take turns sharing your fantasies and discussing your deepest desires. Don’t be afraid to delve a little deeper to determine what elements of your fantasy and your partners fantasy you really want to experience. Take turns, and as each one of you shares a fantasy, make sure to stay open-minded and compassionate and try not to make any judgments because everyone is different. Hear one another out about what that fantasy means to you, which parts are most exciting, and where the line between fantasy and desire is.


Sooner the better

The sooner you discuss your sexual fantasies with your partner the better, ideally within the 3-month time slot so your relationship is still in the honeymoon phase and still at it’s most exciting. If you get this out in the open early on you will be building excellent foundations for a strong relationship and one that is free and open to trying new things. You will feel comfortable and confident with each other.


Ease your partner in

Sometimes taking a softer approach instead of going for it guns blazing can be the better approach. Ask your partner how they would feel should you share such intimate secrets with them and would they be comfortable. Make it a game. You say one of your fantasies then let your partner say one of theirs. This can make it a little bit more light hearted and less intimidating for you both while also giving your partner a chance at telling you theirs.


If you are comfortable in your relationship it’s good to discuss your sexual fantasies at an appropriate time, maybe not over watching the evening soaps or on your way to work or over breakfast. Follow the steps above and see how you get on.

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Betsy Smith

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